On the weekend we pour a little more cereal in your bowl. We hope you enjoy some reading from our regular contributors, some viral videos and other great finds from the internet. This is what we loved this week. Share your favorite articles and videos in the comments below.
Jennifer Clinger is a survivor of trafficking, abuse, addiction, and about a million other things. She is also a teacher, a seeker, and a professional writer for Thistle Farms. I asked her what question she would want me to address in a blog for Don Miller. Here is a few of the more than a dozen questions she wrote back in about an hour:
HERE’S THE MENTAL TRICK: To make better decisions, imagine your life one year from now. From that perspective, look back on where you are now and think about how you wish you would have handled your current situation.
I was talking with a friend recently who was going through a tough breakup. He was angry, to be honest, because his girlfriend hadn’t been faithful.
A few months ago, my wife and I took our kids on a short weekend trip to the mountains. As we pulled out of our neighborhood and merged onto the four lane highway, we suddenly realized an important detail for the trip had not been accomplished.
Kim and I both assumed the other person was going to make the necessary arrangements. As a result, neither of us had accomplished the task. And now, the trip had already begun.
Not long ago a study was released explaining kids are negatively affected when we tell them they’re good at something. It sounds crazy, I know, but the article said if we say to our kids they’re good musicians or good athletes, they feel an enormous amount of pressure to live up to the expectations we’ve unknowingly set. The study found kids are much better off if we say great job scoring that goal or you sounded really good in practice today. The difference, the study suggested, is we’re praising what a kid did rather than praising his or her identity based on select criteria. In other words, when we say you’re a good musician what the kid hears is you only matter if you’re a good musician and you should fear losing that status but when we say you sounded great in practice today what the kid hears is you sounded great in practice today, nothing more and nothing less. Their identity has nothing to do with whether they’re a good musician or not.
There are a group of 1700 of us in San Diego this weekend for the Storyline Conference. We have heard from a great group of speakers, and we are all learning what it means to live a meaningful story. We didn’t want to leave the rest of you out, so we are sharing the best quotes from the conference.
This Friday night I had nothing to do. I waited for a text. From anyone. To do anything. None came. I waited for a call. None came. Couldn’t my mom even call me? Nope. I had nothing to do with anyone. I sat on my couch and tried to relax but my thoughts turned dark like they do when I’m suddenly aware of my alone-ness. I begin to wonder if I have any friends. I start to count them and then find reasons that none of them are actually my friends. I mean, if I had friends, wouldn’t I have plans on a Friday night? I have no friends, I never have and never will. I wish I could say I’m exaggerating about my thoughts but I’m not. They actually go there. They actually get that dark and desperate.
A while back a friend hosted several pastors and I for a hunting trip on His ranch in Central Oregon. We were there for a few days, but while we were there our friend treated us like Kings. He guided us up and down the mountains, making sure each of us got a buck. He and his team paddled us across the lakes on his property, making sure each of us caught a trout. All the while, he never fired a shot or put a hook in the water. One early morning while watching the sunrise from on top of a hill, scouting for deer, he mentioned he’d only shot at one buck the entire time he owned the ranch. He simply said I like guiding more than hunting. It’s more fun.
Conflict resolution has not come easily for me in the past.
I’ve always waffled back and forth between avoiding arguments completely, so as not to be perceived as pushy or controlling; or confronting conflicts after the situation has already escalated beyond a simple misunderstanding, which of course meant I had a hard time controlling my temper and would lash out unnecessarily.
They call it “multi-tasking.” I call it annoying. When I read about the merits of efficiency and the need to get more things done at once, it is always written from the perspective of the person doing multiple things at the same time. I have never seen this modern habit described from the point of view of the person interacting with a multi-tasker.
When I walk into a colleague’s office and he is talking to me while simultaneously reading and responding to emails while his eyes dart to his iPhone’s text message alerts . . . I am not impressed with the ability to do several things at once. Honestly, I get frustrated because I do not believe he is listening to me. Over time this pattern has grated on me to the point I try to schedule our meetings in a conference room in an effort to disconnect his work station from our conversation.